Dive Deeper Development
Dive Deeper into Personal Development
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Life By Design Blog

Stuff to help you live your life by design

Posts tagged emotions
Three thoughts that will make bad times worse

We can all get on a bit of a downer sometimes. That’s only natural and it happens to everyone from time to time. The important thing though, is how we explain how we explain those down times to ourselves. This is the difference between having a bad day and sliding in a bad week or month. There are three thoughts we tell ourselves about these moments that will make any bad time worse. The good news is that knowing this, and doing something about it, can lift you out of funk pretty quickly too.

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"Arghhh I can't believe I did that" OR knee-jerk reactions

A man came to see me recently because he's not happy with his body.

He's so desperate he wants to do whatever will get the weight off quickly. When someone is in this state I know they aren't very open to taking a long term view. They make a choice which relieves the 'eurghhh' feeling but this is rarely a choice that feels good or is right for them in the medium or long term. My prediction is that unless he sees weight come off and can get into a state where he is thinking more clearly, he will give up before he even gets going. Most people do this. 

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Business Book Club: Emotional Intelligence

I've set myself a goal to read one self-development book per month.This month I’ve been reading Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ by Daniel Goleman

This book has been sat unread in my office for years. Literally years, I can’t even remember how many. All I can say is that the topic was fairly new when I was given it and I guess it wasn’t top of my reading list. Now that I’ve read it I’m wondering how I’ve lived my life without the information contained within it.

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Business Book Club: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***

I've set myself a goal to read one self-development book per month. To make sure I really reflect on what I'm reading I'm going to extract the wisdom from the best business and personal development books and share it with you.

This month I’ve been reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*** By Mark Manson

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Are you putting off a difficult conversation? Start by taking yourself out of it.

Relationships, public speaking, performing a song for Simon Cowell. All things you should put as much of yourself as you can into. A lion's den, a pair of hotpants 2 sizes too small and difficult conversations-all things you absolutely take yourself out of. I don’t mean don’t have difficult conversations but, as far as possible, we should take ourselves out of them.

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When does expending effort energise you?

Have you ever noticed that when you are doing something you love, no matter how physically demanding it is, you often feel like you could keep it up all day? Yet, when you are doing something mind-numbingly dull you find it tiring to the point where you could very easily fall asleep?

Why is this and how can we find ways to get more of that energised feeling?

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A problem shared: Why Jeremy Kyles Guests might just be on to something 

I've never been one to admit "I'm struggling". I don't like to bother people or bring them down with my woes and no one likes a moaner. I've never had much time for Jeremy Kyle 'guests' who air their dirty laundry in public either. In fact, I admit I've been quite judgemental about them. However, I have come to learn that both professionally and personally, talking about your problems with people is actually a bloody good idea.  

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"Arghhh I can't believe I did that": knee-jerk reactions

A man came to see me recently because he's not happy with his body.

He's so desperate he wants to do whatever will get the weight off quickly. When someone is in this state I know they aren't very open to taking a long term view. They make a choice which relieves the 'eurghhh' feeling but this is rarely a choice that feels good or is right for them in the medium or long term. My prediction is that unless he sees weight come off and can get into a state where he is thinking more clearly, he will give up before he even gets going. Most people do this. 

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5 questions to ask yourself when you get stuck pursuing a goal 

Ever done this? You've set out to achieve something, you take action and slowly you start to see some progress unfold but then you get stuck and you can't seem to break through and finally crack it? 

When you find yourself in this situation it might be time to pause and reflect. Here are five questions to ask yourself when you get stuck. 

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My number one tip for overcoming procrastination

I've been doing a lot of research into procrastination recently for an online course I've written on productivity.  I uncovered loads of loads of great tips and 'hacks' for overcoming procrastination. Lots of cunning methods of tricking yourself into greater productivity but none of the dozens and dozens them of the articles or books I read addressed the cause of procrastination. 

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What does the unconscious mind do?

Ever wished you had an owners manual for your mind? In this blog I give an overview of the 'prime directives of the unconscious mind'. Any material on behavioural change will feature frequent references to the unconscious mind. There's a good reason for that. All change, learning and behaviour is performed in the Unconscious Mind. But what does the unconscious mind actually do and why does it cause us to think and do all sorts of random and seemingly self-defeating stuff? 

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