Three Words to Improve Any Relationship
I know Valentines is around the corner but rest assured those three little words aren’t "I love you". The three words I’m thinking of are: “Just like me”
Whether you’d like to improve a relationship with someone who constantly irritates you or if you would just like to have a more loving relationship when a partner or friend displays one of their more ‘quirky’ traits, these three words can help. Here’s how.
Just Like Me
Whenever you find yourself criticising someone, either out loud or in your head, tag the words "just like me" onto the end of your criticism.
Whatever annoying thing someone does, chances are that you do it too. At least sometimes. We tend to judge ourselves on our intentions and other people on their behaviour. Reminding yourself that you do the same thing makes you feel more forgiving and causes you to view the other person the way you would want to be viewed yourself.
What if they aren’t like me?
Then use “just like me” as a reminder that you also make mistakes. Ask yourself “what do I sometimes do that irritates others?”.
Whenever we are under stress or feel a threat, a flight or fight response is triggered. Some people might take psychological flight by sitting on the fence, being evasive or withholding their feelings for example. Others come out fighting. They interrupt, talk over people, blame or criticise.
Someone else controlling a conversation might make you cross but your sitting on the fence might drive them crazy too. Fight or flight, they are both ways of responding to fear. Perhaps you are not so different after all?
When we identify people as being more like us we tend to be much more generous and loving towards them. "Just like me" reminds us of our similarities rather than our differences.
Give it a try now
Think of some complaints you have about a partner or friend and say them in your head with "just like me" on the end.
Do it a few times. It's harder to do it with the same irritation isn't it?
I hope you found that useful, I know it always helps me feel better.
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