“You’re Not Cut Out to Be a Manager”

“You’re not cut out to be a manager.”

A senior leader once said that to me. Calmly. Directly. Looking me straight in the eye.

I was young, ambitious and genuinely excited about progressing. I believed I could do it. He didn’t.

I was devastated. And for a long time, I believed him.

So I chose a different route. I focused on work I was good at. Work that suited me. Slowly, my confidence rebuilt.

Then, over time, something shifted.

I realised that “not cut out to be a manager” wasn’t an objective truth. I simply wasn’t cut out to be one of his managers.

That comment said far more about the kind of leadership he valued than it did about my potential.

Years later, he attended one of my leadership programmes. Afterwards, my co-facilitator said, “Something’s a bit off with him. What’s his issue?”

It was strangely reassuring. Not because I needed to win. But because it confirmed something I had come to understand:

When someone tells you what you are or aren’t capable of, it is rarely universal. It is shaped by their preferences. Their experiences. Their definition of success.

For some people, a “good manager” looks remarkably like themselves.

So if you have ever been told you’re not cut out for something, pause before accepting it as fact.

It may not be about your potential at all.